Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Friday, 13 January 2012
Overcoming Rejection
Social approval The following story will give you
a perfect understanding of the
termsocial approval and its effects on your self esteem. once there was a lion living in a
big forest along with his other
lion friends. one day that lion
decided to visit the place where
the hedgehogs lived .upon his
arrival there he liked the place much and so he went to the
leader of the hedgehogs and
asked him if he can stay with
them. the leader told him, "i am
sorry, you are much different
than us, please go and cut your tail in order to look more like
us". So the lion went away and
thought about it and then
decided to cut his tail because
he needed to be approved by
them badly. The lion came back
to the hedgehog's leader and asked him if he can stay with
them and the leader replied
"hmmm your looks are still much
different ,please shave all of
your hair in order to look more
like us". But the lion was in need
of social approval The lion thought that this is too
much but because he wanted
their approval so much and
because he was eager to be
accepted by the hedgehogs he
shaved his hair then went back to the leader leader who told
him "hmm, you still need to
remove your very long nails in
order to look more like us", the
lion thought about it, then he
did it for the sake of being approved. After returning back the leader
told him "am sorry but, seems
that whatever changes you do
to yourself you can never look
like us, maybe you was never
meant to be a hedgehog. Now please leave. The lion headed back home
feeling very disappointed and
upon arriving back to the place
he found big surprise was
waiting for him. The other lions
didn't accept his new looks and told him that he is no longer a
lion. "you lost your identity , you
are no longer a lion" said one of
the lions. The lion went awayfeeling bad and lost. He sacrificed precious
things forsocial approval yet he got nothing. How the need for social
approval impacts self
esteem The problem of that lion is that
he exchanged his identity for
social approval. Hesacrificed his true self to gain the
approval of others. The same story happens
everyday but with lots of human
beings who sacrifice their self
esteem for social approval. They
change the way they dress in
order to appeal to others, they sacrifice what they like for what
others like and the result is
usually either one of a two
things, either acceptance but
zeroself confidence or either rejection and a loss of their
identity. In theSolid Self confidence program i said that a person will never manage to become
confidence before his
subconscious mind accepts that
he is worthy and this can never
happen before his self worth
comes from within. What striving for social approval does is that it
allows others to control your
self confidence while leaving you
helpless. The need for Social
approval makes you less
attractive contrary to your beliefs people
will like you more when you have
your own opinion , ideas, likes
and dislikes . This article is not against
conformity but its against blind
conformity. When you start to
stop doings the things that you
like in order to get approved
then know that your self confidence is in real danger.
a perfect understanding of the
termsocial approval and its effects on your self esteem. once there was a lion living in a
big forest along with his other
lion friends. one day that lion
decided to visit the place where
the hedgehogs lived .upon his
arrival there he liked the place much and so he went to the
leader of the hedgehogs and
asked him if he can stay with
them. the leader told him, "i am
sorry, you are much different
than us, please go and cut your tail in order to look more like
us". So the lion went away and
thought about it and then
decided to cut his tail because
he needed to be approved by
them badly. The lion came back
to the hedgehog's leader and asked him if he can stay with
them and the leader replied
"hmmm your looks are still much
different ,please shave all of
your hair in order to look more
like us". But the lion was in need
of social approval The lion thought that this is too
much but because he wanted
their approval so much and
because he was eager to be
accepted by the hedgehogs he
shaved his hair then went back to the leader leader who told
him "hmm, you still need to
remove your very long nails in
order to look more like us", the
lion thought about it, then he
did it for the sake of being approved. After returning back the leader
told him "am sorry but, seems
that whatever changes you do
to yourself you can never look
like us, maybe you was never
meant to be a hedgehog. Now please leave. The lion headed back home
feeling very disappointed and
upon arriving back to the place
he found big surprise was
waiting for him. The other lions
didn't accept his new looks and told him that he is no longer a
lion. "you lost your identity , you
are no longer a lion" said one of
the lions. The lion went awayfeeling bad and lost. He sacrificed precious
things forsocial approval yet he got nothing. How the need for social
approval impacts self
esteem The problem of that lion is that
he exchanged his identity for
social approval. Hesacrificed his true self to gain the
approval of others. The same story happens
everyday but with lots of human
beings who sacrifice their self
esteem for social approval. They
change the way they dress in
order to appeal to others, they sacrifice what they like for what
others like and the result is
usually either one of a two
things, either acceptance but
zeroself confidence or either rejection and a loss of their
identity. In theSolid Self confidence program i said that a person will never manage to become
confidence before his
subconscious mind accepts that
he is worthy and this can never
happen before his self worth
comes from within. What striving for social approval does is that it
allows others to control your
self confidence while leaving you
helpless. The need for Social
approval makes you less
attractive contrary to your beliefs people
will like you more when you have
your own opinion , ideas, likes
and dislikes . This article is not against
conformity but its against blind
conformity. When you start to
stop doings the things that you
like in order to get approved
then know that your self confidence is in real danger.
Saturday, 7 January 2012
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